My New Goal

For some reason, I've never been one for hobbies outside of dabbling in writing from time to time, but there is one thing that I'd like to learn and master: surfing.

About a year ago, I was in Hawaii visiting family, and while on Maui we checked out the little town of Pāʻia, which is famous for its windsurfing. While looking out at the water, I couldn't help but feel like I belonged there, which sparked my interest in picking up surfing.

My trip to Hawaii not only made me want to learn a new sport, but it also made me realize how much I love being by the water, and how the beach bum lifestyle would suit me.

I used to joke about running off to Mexico to sell t-shirts on the beach to tourists, but the more I think about, the more appealing that vocation sounds. Hawaii has plenty of tourists that need t-shirts, and I could earn some cash to pay for surfing lessons. It's all coming together...

My Lack of Passion

About a year ago, I wrote an entry about how I didn't have any direction when it came to my life and work mostly due to the fact that there's nothing that I'm truly passionate about. I'd like to report that things have changed, and I have a better idea of what I want to do with my life because I found my one true passion, but unfortunately I can't. I'm still looking though.

The thought of throwing myself back into my writing has crossed my mind, but I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that my dreams of being a serious writer are over. I need to find something real to fill this void. I'm still convinced that this hole can be filled by some kind of service. Now, I just need to figure out what that means.

I'm still interested in working with children through Big Brothers Big Sisters, but the thought of working with animals in shelters also has some appeal. It's not really finding something to do that is the problem, rather finding the motivation to get out there to do something. Sometimes, I don't know how people can dedicate their lives to others when I can barely live my own life. I guess figuring out the answer is the first step towards becoming complete...

My Blah-entine's Day

This time last year, I was talking about how I was OK with being single during Valentine's Day because of how in flux my life was at the time.  Oh what a difference a year makes because here we have another Valentine's Day, and yes I'm still single, but this time I'm not as cool with my relationship status (or lack of one).

I guess the biggest reason why I'm not too jazzed about being single is because last year I knew I was moving away from Portland, and now I know that I'm going to be in San Marcos for the next couple of years.  Sure, I've only been in town a little over four months, so it shouldn't be too surprising that I haven't found the love of my life, but I thought that I'd have at least some prospectives by now.

Then again, I know that deep down I'm just biding my time because I have a pretty good idea who I am meant for, and going down random roads with random people isn't going to lead to her.  I just have to be patient, and let things unfold. Is that romantic or just crazy?

P.S. - On a somewhat related note, check out PostSecret's V-Day inspired "Sunday Secrets" post.

My Old Stomping Grounds

So on a whim, I drove to San Antonio this afternoon, and I couldn't help but feel mixed emotions after I came back to San Marcos because going back reminded me of a lot great times I had, but it also reminded about how things have changed.

My time in San Antonio were the best years of my life because I grew up a lot, came into my own, and became the person that I am today. It was a great experience, but I always knew that in order for me to really grow I had to leave, which was a driving factor in me moving up to Portland. Even though I don't regret moving to Oregon, part of me always thinks about how my life would be if I stayed in San Antonio.

Even though I loved my time in San Antonio, I don't think I could ever go back.  I'm just a very different person then I was those many years ago, and returning would be a big step backwards. Right now, I'm only interested in moving forward, rediscovering myself, and growing even more.  Going back to San Antonio would not let me do those things.

What led me to this realization was a visit to my alma matter, the University of Texas at San Antonio. Being back at UTSA opened my eyes to how much things have changed. It was interesting being back on campus because it has cool seeing how much it has grown, but it was also a little sad because it is not the same school that I went to. I went to UTSA because it wasn't UT-Austin or Texas A&M.  It was a smaller school trying to find its identity, and by doing that it wanted to become like everything else.  While becoming a more prestigious institution, UTSA has lost some of its scrappiness, and that's what drew me there.

The school was not the only thing that's changed because the city itself is not the same place I moved to. San Antonio always felt like a really big town to me despite being a major metropolitan area. Over the last couple of years the city has blown up and become a bloated version of itself with all of the strip malls and fancy shopping centers. It doesn't have that small town feel to it because it's looking more and more like a major city, and more power to them. I'm glad SA has grown so much, but it's not the place I fell in love with so many years ago. Too many things have changed, but that's life.

While I was driving around SA, I dawned on me how five years could feel like a lifetime.  Being back felt familiar but so different at the same time, and I realized that was my old life and I needed to move on. Despite knowing that my time in San Antonio is behind me, I still love that city because it helped shape me into the person that I am today, and it helped me realize what else I need to do. I'm glad that the place that helped me grow up also helped me realize that I still have a ways to go.

My Rewind

Today was one of those days that you just want to take back.  To be honest, it wasn't the worst day I've ever had, but it was far from the best.  And I know that everyday is not going to be a winner, but for some reason today really threw me off my game, and it had me asking myself some really serious questions.  Told ya, it was one of those.  I'm just glad that it's almost over, and I get another shot tomorrow.

My Super Blog XLIV

I think I'm un-American or something because I'm really not that excited about tonight's Super Bowl game between the Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints (I think it's because I wanted it to be the Minnesota Vikings vs. the New York Jets), but knowing me I'll still watch it, or at least most of it.

As always, I'm going to be cheering for the Saints because they are the underdogs (the same reason I rooted for the Cardinals last year), and it'd be nice to see New Orleans celebrate a Super Bowl victory after everything the city has been through.

I do hope it's at least a competitive game, on par with last year's because blow-outs are never fun to watch.

UPDATE:
So far, the game has only been OK, but I am glad that the Saints are playing like the scrappy underdogs that they are. I hope they can hold on...

UPDATE 2:
Geaux Saints! It's going to be a crazy night in the French Quarter tonight!