My Tumbling Tumbleweed

Once again, I find myself going back on something that I thought I wanted.  A few posts ago, I talked about how seeing my nieces made me realize that I want to start settling down and yadda, yadda, yadda.  After a couple of days, I'm not so sure that's the case anymore.

The thought of being cemented to one place has always been unnerving to me.  Maybe I'm just not the settling type, and I'm the kind of person that needs to shake things up from time to time, even if the act of constant change is a pattern unto itself (ironic, right?).

I'm bringing this up because one day I had this idea that was kind of exciting, and I could not remember the last time I was excited.  I told myself how cool it would be if I set a goal for myself that involved me living in ten different cities throughout the country.  At the time it sounded like an admirable target to hit.

What's even more encouraging is the fact that I'm almost half way there since I've spent time in Midland, San Antonio, Portland, and now San Marcos.  My sights are now set on Austin, San Francisco, San Diego, Seattle, Boulder or Ft. Collins, and Hawaii.  Sounds do-able?

I know that this is a lofty goal, and I'd be lucky to get to one or two of these cities, but it's good to be ambitious (or delusional).  And I know that I need to figure out what I'm chasing after before I end up without a true home because maybe it's just around the corner instead of half-way across the country.

My Acceptance

I've always fancied myself a writer, although I've gotten out of the habit, and I had aspirations of earning a living with my words.  As time has gone by, it's become apparent that the dream is never going to get off of the ground, and now I'm starting to think that it's time for me to come to terms with this insight.

Hell, I struggle with coming up with interesting things to write about on this blog, and I don't even have an audience.  I can usually spout of some random comments about a TV show that I watch, or my knee jerk reactions to a movie I've seen, but I rarely crank out anything of significance on my blogs, and I can't help but feel like a failure.  Then again, I've never thought of myself as a real blogger.  I'm just some dude that jots down random thoughts, so I guess I could cut myself a break.

The crazy thing is, I used to think, "One day I'm going to do it. I'm going to be a writer, and I'm going to write a movie that wins Best Picture, and everything I'm doing now is temporary".  The realization is staring to hit me that my life right now is not temporary, and this is probably it.  Unfortunately, I've spent too much time sitting around thinking about what could have been instead of focusing on what is at hand.  I kind of feel like things have passed me by.  Whoopsie.

Then it just dawned on me that I'm still somewhat young, and I still have a lot of living to do.  Maybe I will write something significant one day, or maybe I'll end up exactly where I need to be and doing exactly what I'm meant to do.  All I can really do is accept the fact that this is life, and I need to do more time enjoying it.

My Time in Houston

I had the chance to get out of San Marcos for a few days, and I headed over to Houston to meet my new niece.  While I was there, I realized two things: I have the cutest nieces ever, and I think I'm almost ready to settle down and have a family.  I just need to find someone to settle down with...and learn how to hold a baby without freaking out.

My Stumptown

For some reason I've really been missing Portland lately.  Maybe it's because of all of the Leverage that I've been watching, but I have a feeling there's more to it than that.  I just miss the culture and vibe, and more importantly all of my PDX friends.

I was lucky to have met some of the greatest people on the planet while living up in Portland, and while it was hard leaving them behind, I knew that I had to at the time.  Now, I'm kicking myself a little bit for taking off like that, but I'm still convinced that I needed to come home, even if it's only for a little while.  Maybe my path will take me back to the Northwest...you never know.

The crazy thing is, I didn't think I'd be missing PDX like this, but the old adage is true, you don't know what you have until it's gone.  I took Portland for granted, and didn't take full advantage of what the city had to offer while I was living up there.  I just need to make sure I don't make that mistake again, and I need to live it up in Austin while I'm in Central Texas because I don't need anymore regret.

Luckily for me, I have plenty of reasons to visit Portland and places to crash.  This time around, I won't let the charm of the city go to waste.

My R&R

So, I know that I've only been on the job for about three months, but I'm ready for a vacation, and when I say vacation, I mean "vacation".  I know that I'm probably going to be headed to Houston soon to see the new baby, but seeing family for the weekend doesn't usually count as a getaway.

If I had my way I'd be hitting up the Bay Area, traveling up and down the East Coast, or cruising around the Mediterranean (if I had the cash).  Really, all I'm looking for is an excuse to get out of town for a little bit so I can clear my head, so maybe the place isn't as important.  Although, a trip back to Hawaii wouldn't totally suck.

Too bad I don't have the money or time to get some rest and relaxation.  Oh yeah, and the lack of a travel buddy makes it hard to get motivated to hit the road.  Sure, I can travel solo, but it's more fun to have someone to share the experience with.

Until I find these things, I'll just have to keep on taking these vacations in my mind...

My New Niece

I got the call earlier tonight that my sister had her second baby girl this morning.  The little buddle's name is Catarina Mika Vu, and she and her mother are doing splendidly.  I'm super excited for my sister and her husband, and I can't wait to meet her.

My Changes

The end of the year is coming up, and that means it's almost time for the annual New Year's Resolutions to be formed. I keep saying that I'm not a resolution person, yet every year I'm on one of my blog's talking about what I want to change in my life. Every year it sounds the same...

This year I moved yet again.  This time I left Portland, OR for my home state of Texas, and even though I was heading home I knew that I wanted something new, so I set my sites on Austin. I haven't made it to ATX yet, but I landed in San Marcos which is close enough for now.

The reason where I'm living now is important is because I once again vowed to change my life, and I was convinced that a new locale would be the first step towards that change. Yet here I am living the same life I was up in Oregon. Hell, the rain even followed me down here. The words, "the more things change, the more they stay the same", are true. It's a cliche for a reason.

Life here in San Marcos is pretty much in the same rut that it was in up in Portland. I'm still single, I'm still trying to figure out what to do with my life, and I'm still trying to convince myself that I'm OK with all of it. I keep telling myself that it's only for now, and that things are going to change, and I continue to wait. Just like I did in Oregon.

It just dawned on me that moving from place to place doesn't really change anything if you don't let it. You're just going through the same existence, just in different surroundings. So, I guess what I'm saying is that my new resolution is to create the change that I thought would accompany my relocation rather than just expecting it to happen.

But at least now I have Whataburger...